We made it through the month where we heard, “new year, new me.” and now we’re entering a month that we are hearing about “self-love.” With all of the catch-phrases tagged to each month, it’s important that we still maintain self-care and the ability to love yourself in the process. So, if you’re still looking for the “new you”… you do not need a new year to begin. You just need the courage to begin. Be the author of your own story, look forward not back. And guess what, it’s hard. It’s hard to break the habits. I thought a lot about resolutions at the end of last year, as many of us might. I thought more about how I would ensure that I could achieve one or more. The reasons our resolutions fail is because we are focused on the finish line then the walk there. We’ve all done it before, I know I have, where we think the end of the day is going to make it all better. That if we just get there it will magically happen. And for those of us that have fallen into this trap know that the sad reality is it never works that way. So how do we set resolutions for ourselves without inevitably being disappointed about it? I think I have the answer.
I realized that the whole point of a resolution is for it to make you better. To help you become the best version of yourself. I mean we start the year all motivated and excited because we think this is THE thing that is going to make all the clouds somehow shine. But why do we limit that to just a year? I mean if 2020 is the year of hydration does that just stop when 2021 comes around? Or does it even make it that far in the first place? These are the questions that we need to be asking ourselves when we set these goals (#criterion #maintenance). I think a better way of phrasing these resolutions is by calling them lifestyle changes (#naturalreinforcement). I think that is the only way to ensure that what we want here in this very day, is accomplished by this very day next year, and even further than that, for the rest of our lives. I think by taking it habit by habit, day by day, issue by issue, we can transform our lives into the healthiest, happiest, versions of ourselves (#selflove, #MOtivation).
But what about the words self-care and self-love? Well because I think they should be the root of all of our lifestyle changes. I have been thinking a lot about what the difference is between having it and having it all. And I think it comes down to whether or not it was wholesome. Stay with me, I know this sounds strange. Imagine in your head someone who loves their job. Who loves their husband, wife, or partner. Who loves themselves. Who loves to eat clean during the weeks and indulge on the weekends. Who always has something nice to say when faced with conflict. Who seeks to understand. Who listens and cares. Who has time for what seems like anything and anyone. Imagine them in your head right now. I know I am sitting here thinking yep, they have it all figured out and I can barely keep myself from cheating on day 2 of my healthy eating plan (#selfmonitor). And that is the point. These people. The ones who “have it all”, the ones who have cracked the code. It wasn’t in just one year. It wasn’t one vision board. It wasn’t one prayer. It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t just one goal. It was the choice to make a wholesome life, full of self-care and self-love. To take it into their own hands. To incorporate it slowly but surely. To do it at their pace. To do it with the goal of bettering themselves with no expectations or dates or end goals in sight. Because the reality is if it’s good enough for us to make our whole year about, it has to be good enough for us to want it forever.
So I ask you today to make the wholesome choice to self-love through means of self-care. The one that will be here for years to come. Do more things that make you whole. Eat more things that fuel your body. Drink more things that hydrate and energize. Think more things that light a fire in your soul and put a beat in your heart. Say more things that bring sunshine to not only your life, but others. Do this today. Do it tomorrow. Do it fast or do it slow. But just keep doing it. Because our time here as people has an end, but who we are while we’re here lives on forever. So decide today to be known as the person who had it all in the best of ways. Because this journey, these goals, they are really just the roadmap to the best version of yourself. And when you have that, well you pretty much have it all.
2020, may you be full of self-care and self-love.
About the Author
Dana is a Licensed Behavior Specialist in Pennsylvania who loves her two dogs, Cole and Chloe, Spin and Barre classes and smoothies. Dana completed Spin teacher training and loves the dark room vibes along with Barre classes. She cannot wait to begin teaching classes once she passes her board exam. You can follow her on Instagram at costa_d.